


Silver lining

by lopeslg



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Shiranui Genma, Explicit Language, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lopeslg/pseuds/lopeslg
Summary: But he was nothing if not resilient, and if he found a silver lining on the worst moment of his life, he could do it again now. And that came faster than expected in the actual silver hair of his new captain, one Hatake Kakashi.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Mitarashi Anko, Hatake Kakashi/Shiranui Genma, Shiranui Genma & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49





	1. Back to Black

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. Kindly take that into consideration while reading it.  
> The main focus will be the developing relationship between two males, so if that's not your cup of tea, you've been warned. 
> 
> I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.  
> Thank you for reading it!

When Genma woke up he immediately noticed two things: the disgusting pool of drool on his cheek, hair and couch cushion and the obnoxious tapping on his kitchen window coming from an angry and impatient looking messenger hawk. The groan that came out of his mouth was such a strong physical reaction that not even years of shinobi training would've been capable of suppressing it, not that he bothered to try.  
He briefly contemplated thoughts of insubordination and treason before getting up the couch and retrieving the small scroll stuck on the hawk's leg. A brief message written in very unnecessary formal wording that delayed the simple message he had been dreading receiving for a week: “Get your ass to the Hokage’s office, now.”  
He knew going out to drink last night was one of the most poor making decisions moments of his life, especially knowing that the damn hawk showing up on his window was only a matter of time. But then again, that was the very same knowledge that made him desperate for a drink in the first place.  
The pounding headache, the foul taste on his mouth and the fact he didn't have the time to shower or to drink his damn morning coffee led to another loud groan and more fleeting thoughts of insubordination. However, there was only one shinobi in the entire village that had the privilege of being late and not get punished or severely reprimanded. And that shinobi was not Shiranui Genma. Bearing that in mind and reminding himself of his duties and appreciation for a steady income, he quickly gathered his bearings, a couple of old soldier pills from his cabinet, put his forehead protector in place and headed to the Hokage Tower straight towards his impending doom.

\------

Turns out, worrying about the state of his clothes and face was a futile effort, since before he had the chance to step into the Sandaime's office, an ANBU guard very rudely shoved a new set of ANBU uniforms in his face and he was ordered to change immediately. The mask on top was as familiar and dreadful as he thought it would be and the regret of drinking his weight in sake the other night was quickly replaced by the desire to just do it again.  
The meeting was as boring and cliche as he imagined it would be. The lengthy speech about the Will of Fire and protecting the inconspicuous little villagers was nothing new and before long he was already fighting the urge to yell to the old man to just get to the damn point. He already knew, between late night whispers and the gossip mill, that the honorable ANBU ranks were going through a massive change. Something to do with internal corruption, programmed treasonous shinobis and simple missions going wrong left and right that made the Hokage nervous enough to recall twenty or so shinobi that were on reserve. Genma so happened to be one of those. Once a proud member of the Fourth Hokage's personal guard, he was reduced to the role of special jounin and put back to the active roster so fast that Minato's body was probably not even cold yet. After all, the Sandaime "already had his trusted personal guards and had no place in ANBU for his specific abilities". He fought the urge to shiver recalling that particular nasty moment of his life and career.  
The speech the Sandaime gave him and the rest of the Yondaime's guard on the aftermath of the Kyuubi's attack was a fuzzy memory and what he remembers the most was not the words, but the way they were delivered by their leader. Clipped tones, ill concealed impatience and a hint of pity that to this day makes Genma's chakra spike with anxiety, depression and a hint of resentment.  
So being back there, bearing the weight of the steel grey armor and the fucking uncomfortable face mask, kneeling on the could ground while listening to generic words of encouragement and patriotism made him wish he was the one shinobi on the village who could be late enough to skip all of this bullshit without losing his job. But that shinobi was not Shiranui Genma.

\------

Despite the fact that being back to the active jounin roster was a blatant demotion, Genma at the time barely felt the blow to his pride. He was too busy grieving his Hokage and struggling with the crushing guilt and sorrow that came with failing to do his job. So when he finally resurfaced from months of nightmares, exhaustion and emotional turmoil he found himself surprised at the fact he actually enjoyed being out of ANBU. The whole mission and teams systems were an enormous welcoming change and he caught himself finally being at ease with himself again. The easy bickering and teasing with his old comrades from the academy came as easy as the patrol duties and the B-rank missions. Weekly poker nights and actually having the time to cook his own meals were also a welcoming change. Which is why, when he heard about the ANBU rumours and the, frankly, treasonous gossip that old agents were being brought back he lost himself to a sour mood and late night drinking.  
But he was nothing if not resilient, and if he found a silver lining on the worst moment of his life, he could do it again now. And that came faster than he expected, in the actual silver hair of his new captain, one Hatake Kakashi.  
Now, Genma prouded himself on the cool and relaxed aura he knew he emitted. Few things could rile him up because he honestly didn't have the energy to give a fuck. But when, on the next morning, he was told to report to training ground 4 to get acquainted with his new squad, he actually had to stop himself from squealing. Because, Hatake fucking Kakashi was his new captain.  
He could already hear and see Raidou rolling his eyes and calling him a fangirl, but the infatuation he couldn't help but feel was just professional respect and a little bit of awe towards a fellow shinobi. That's it, just respect, no matter what his jerk friends thought. (Shut up, Asuma! It's not a crush!)

From all that he admired his new captain, he knew better than to show any of that to the actual man. So he kept his thoughts and reactions well guarded within his mind and politely introduced himself to his new teammates. Even keeping himself at a distance he already knew with a decent amount of certainty how ridiculously capable they all were. The second in command, Tenzo, was a freaking mokuton user (Genma didn't even bother to hide his dumbfounded expression upon that revelation) and had the utmost confidence of the other members. In a gloomy footnote, Genma was informed that if something should happen to the team leader during a mission he should rely on Tenzo's leadership. The long brown hair combined with the big eyes and the sincere smile and easy reception made it impossible for Genma to feel any hint of jealousy or resentment towards the man. The other members consisted of a petite woman called Yugao and an older man called Hioshi.  
Genma's thoughts on Yugao were immediate: purple hair and scarily proficient at Kenjutsu. Fast and deadly, but surprisingly open and nice.  
Hioshi was a little bit harder to figure out. But once Genma did, he was already bored. The man was usually the supporting role, a decent medical nin and reserved enough to not be friendly. His face was as bland as his personality.

Another thing he couldn’t say he missed that much was the high ability and physical level required to keep up with an ANBU level agent during a spar. He didn’t exactly lack off on his training, though he certainly didn’t maintain the same level. The ass kicking he received by his teammates was as bitter as the surprisingly gentle reprimand coming from his captain. To be told by his long term crush that your stamina is lacking is certainly a wake up call he didn’t even know he needed it.  
Fortunately, a light jab from Yugao calling him fat and the subsequent indignant response from Tenzo was enough to lighten the mood and make that particular pill easier to swallow. Kakashi’s subtle easy laugh helped bury the shame and brought to surface the determination Genma knew he would need to go back to top shape. Perhaps it was time to seek his old genin teammate for a few sparring sessions. Gai always had time to make you feel ridiculously lazy with his unending energy and insane training regime and that was exactly what Genma needed. And if he could maybe throw in an unsuspecting question or two about Gai’s “eternal rival”, then that was just a minor side effect.

\------


	2. Rewards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma becomes officially part of team Rho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some minor character building and a look into team dynamics. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the nice comments, it motivated me to write more! Hope you guys enjoy this one.

Fuck, he's tired. His bones hurt. His muscles, skin, fingers, toes. Hell, his hair hurts. Not even the pain inducing hunger it's enough to propel him out of bed. He did not miss this. And it was only a training session. On an actual mission he would also be dealing with chakra depletion and some light, good old fashioned emotional scarring.  
But fuck, did it feel good to last more than 5 minutes on an all out spar against Hatake. And the eye smile, and the "good job, Shiranui" was certainly rewarding enough. He needed to find a way to thank Gai in a manner subtle enough to keep the man from going on youthful speeches. Dropping out a spandex on his door and making a run for it it's an acceptable social way of saying thanks, right?

He still isn't allowed to accompany his team on high ranking missions, but he can already tell the massive improvement he went through in these last couple of months. Soon they would be training team formations that includes and sometimes relies on his abilities. If you need someone killed in a fast and quiet manner, Genma's your guy. His use of senbons as primary weapons and poisons expertise was the unique characteristic he needed to get the boost up from chuunin to tokubetsu jounin during the war.  
A particularly successful infiltration mission kept a platoon of Kumo's forces back long enough to assure the arrival of Konoha reinforcements on the front lines and was what prompted his promotion. Receiving the field promotion directly from the one and only Konoha's Yellow Flash, amongst tired but happy shinobi comrades remains to this day one of his fondest memories.  
So now, years later, being able to bear such responsibilities once more it's equally frightening and exciting. So he's content enough for now to stay back and just focus on his training and proper insertion on the infamous Team Rho.  
Hatake's rules were made clear from day one: don't put your teammates in unnecessary risk; don't put yourself in unnecessary risk; don't put the mission at risk and don't fuck with Tenzo's plants. The priority to follow the rules on that exact order.  
The whole don't abandon your comrades line sucker punched him straight into the past. He remembered Uchiha Obito with an eerie clarity and thinking about the loud, clumsy and determined kid always left him with a bitter taste on his tongue. Better not to think about it, then...  
So instead he mustered all of the godforsaken strength he could and dragged his ass to the kitchen to actually eat something that didn't come in measured packages of artificial flavor.

\------

Each training session was more interesting than the last. On this particular one Genma got acquainted with his captain's little demons. Or as Hatake called them: summons.  
"Shiranui, meet my adorable little ninken. They're trained to rip an enemy's hands off faster than they can say "kunai", but I refrain from using them in combat too often. So I mainly summon them for tracking, scouting, guard duty, diversion and communication. One of Team's Rho more lovely traditions requires the rookie of the team to play a little game with them, so you can acquaint yourselves with your weaknesses and strengths."  
Usually Genma would always welcome his captain's eye smiles, but somehow this particular one only brought him a feeling of dread and well placed caution. 

Turns out, the "little game" was basically the ninken hunting him down throughout the Forest of Death and biting his ankle hard enough to draw blood. The game only ended if he could manage to evade capture while also being able to trap at least half of the little devils.   
By night time he was left with dozens of bite marks on his legs and was only able to entrap two of them before they dispelled themselves signifying the end of the failed assignment. When he went back to the training grounds he expected to be scolded and lectured by his leader and laughed at by the rest of his teammates.  
Well, he was right on the last part. Tenzo was laughing his ass off while Yugao angrily gave him money. Apparently catching two of the infamous ninkens while being chased by the other six was actually quite a feat. 

And while the get together at the Akimichi’s barbecue place with his new team to celebrate his official reinstatement was nice, the real reward was the touch on his shoulder and the sweet words coming out from Kakashi's lips: "Welcome to Team Rho, Genma".

\------


	3. Silver and Red

Morbid. Fascinating. Even in the midst of a life and death battle, those words kept coming forward in Genma's mind. In his peripheral vision he could see a silver and red blur, fighting with all the grace and deadliness expected of an experienced ANBU captain.  
There are stories, of course. Every shinobi worth their salt heard at least one glorious tale of Hatake Kakashi and his unnatural sharingan. So many stories, and so many versions, told by so many different tones. Some recalled terrifying children and the sound of a thousand birds, lightning yielded by something not quite human. A cold killing machine. ‘What else would you expect from Friend-Killer Kakashi?’  
Genma knew better than to listen to the whispers and gossip which were always surrounded by awe, jealousy and fear, ever since the target of such stories was nothing more than a little boy wearing an oversized scarf and knee-length shorts. The words ‘prodigy’ and ‘genius’ were constantly accompanied by ‘arrogant’ and ‘cold’. Someone like that was bound to catch attention, all kinds of attention, and Genma liked to think that he was one of the few that saw the boy with his own eyes, instead of through the tainted lens of popular opinion. They called Kakashi arrogant, but way back when, before a bloodied tatami and the fall of a Legend, the kid was better than everyone and he knew it, yes, but no one seems to remember how in mock spars he would always correct a stance, distribute an advice or give small praises, whenever they were deserved. Perhaps, the kind gestures were buried underneath envy and frustration, and soon forgotten, once said gestures became sparser and rarer.  
But that was such a long time ago that as each day passed more and more memories were beginning to evaporate and slowly erode. Such a burden of a normal mind. Genma now could only hold on to the feeling that such things happened at all, since most of what he remembered more clearly happened after the great White Fang committed seppuku in his own home, leaving his small son to find his body.  
As fascinated and interested as Genma was, Kakashi certainly didn’t make it easier on himself. The arrogance returned tenfold after his father’s suicide, accompanied by a bitter twist. Backed up by rules and shinobi law. Now instead of a stern correction, only a scowl and a negative comment, as factual as might’ve been.  
Obito knew well, being the main target of said comments. Genma spent hours upon hours hearing the Uchiha incessantly complaining and whining about how awful his new teammate was. At the beginning it was mild annoyance, more frustration of not feeling good enough than anything else, but then Rin got involved. And Genma understood too well the jealousy creeping up and staining their opinions. Whilst Obito started to resent Kakashi even more due to the silly crush Rin apparently had, as one-sided as it was, Genma couldn’t help but resent Obito. Couldn’t help but think ‘if it was me in his place’, things would be different because he understood Kakashi better than Obito ever could. Because he saw with his own eyes. But Obito didn’t even know who Kakashi’s father was, or what happened and that wasn't Genma's story to tell. Orphan as he was, Obito understood the weight of feeling lonely, but not the pain of having some love only for that love to be so brutally ripped away.

It was a couple of years later, when they were all chuunin that it happened. Whilst going out to celebrate Obito’s new promotion with their group of friends, the light conversation and easy laughs suddenly turned sour, when Gai, bless his heart, congratulated Obito on the same breath he declared loudly that he was now training to be a jounin, as to not fall behind his rival. Rin, bless her heart, for Genma knew the feeling all too well, blushed in pride and embarrassment while quietly commenting “he really is amazing, isn’t he?”  
Genma can’t for the life of him remember what was that Obito said about Kakashi that inflamed his rage to the point of combustion. Some silly comment, born out of instant jealousy and years of built-up frustration, but it was such a cruel and untrue thing to say that Genma couldn’t help but get up and yell right back at the Uchiha’s face. Called him names, a failure, a shame to his clan, whatever came to mind at the time that could hurt. And it did, it hurt.  
On that day, the friendship they had was over and the relentless teasing of their colleagues began. Genma has a crush on Kakashi, and Obito won’t even look at him anymore.  
Dawn came and Namikaze Minato’s Team Seven went out on a B-rank mission, led by one recently promoted Jounin Hatake Kakashi; their objective: destroy the Kannabi Bridge.

And then all that was left of his friend was his eye, permanently etched into Kakashi’s skull and an ideal of comradeship that would haunt and guide the silver-haired man for the rest of his life.

\------

So, yes. Morbid for it was someone else’s eye. But fascinating, for it’s red glow in contrast with pale skin and silver hair, yielded with maestry by a broken genius made for a formidable sight. One worthy of all the tales and stories and gossip.  
But not without a price. For each enemy slayed by Genma’s hands, two fell under Kakashi’s chidori. Soon they were both painting on the ground, bloodied, exhausted and surrounded by dead bodies. A special kind of disconnection. Mission mode. Gotta check for survivors, get back with the rest of the team, secure the scroll, head back to Konoha. Make sure you’re not followed, make sure-  
“...nma! Genma!”  
Blinking back to awareness, it took him a minute to comprehend what Kakashi was asking. “Are you okay? How hurt are you?”  
He wanted to laugh, because clearly the man in front of him was half dead, and instead of conserving energy he was busy worrying himself with Genma’s silly injuries. It was barely a scratch, just a particular mean cut that caught his unguarded side. He would die before admitting that apparently red and silver are very distracting colours. He couldn’t allow such frivolities to get in the way of his job.  
He sighed. Loud and long. He really hated his job. Not even the novelty of nurturing your crush back to health could dampen the dread he felt of being in the middle of a godforsaken humid forest full of nasty bugs, hair sticky with blood, exhausted bones and a possible poisoned wound. So forgive him for not being at his best behaviour and allowing sarcasm to drip onto his voice.  
“I should be asking you that.”  
Whoops. Apparently insubordination was frowned upon, if the unimpressed look on Kakashi’s face was any indication.  
Another sigh. Back straight, voice firm. “Sorry, Taichou. I’m ok, minor cut on the left side, possibly poisoned, but I have a strong immune system against it. Chakra reserves are at a medium level and some minor exhaustion.”

Genma tried not to fidget under his captain’s watchful mismatching eyes that were searching for a lie or a hint of deception for a while before the man finally relaxed and relented, “If you’re sure you can handle the poison, we will spend the night in a shelter and head out at dawn.”  
“Hai.”

And so it was that Genma’s first mission back at ANBU was everything and nothing like he expected it would be. The accidental splitting up from his team, meeting more enemies than predicted and general fuck ups, was all common territory. The rush of adrenaline combined with the straining of his muscles and lungs and the creeping fear of death were the main things he could never bring himself to forget, even after years of lighter duty.  
The prowess and ferocity with which his captain fought, along with the borderline suicidal need of protecting those under his command was also not surprising, though it didn’t diminish how impressive - and worrying - it was.

Curiously enough, the memories of long hours waiting and hiding was something his brain didn’t judge important to keep. He truly forgot how incredibly mind numbing boring it was. Once the last of the adrenaline flushed out of his system, the pain and aches finally making their way to the surface, the boredom and discomfort of sitting down on a rough branch of a tree waiting hours for the sun to come, to finally leave and make their way back home. He bandaged his wound and offered to do the same for his captain, only to be shot down instantly. The man looked at him with just one tired eye, an arched eyebrow and an incredulous look in his face as if Genma had just said something preposterous.  
“You’re not the team medic.”  
“No, I’m not.”

When they got back home, mission reported, wounds healed by actual medics and barely audible goodbyes, Genma made sure to linger by the hospital and register to learn first aid and basic medic jutsus in his free time, just out of spite. Next time he would offer again and have a better response against his captain’s objections.

\------


	4. Unconventional Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendships are forming.  
> A look into Kakashi's POV.

Things were as okay as they could be, considering the circumstances. His constant training no longer left him exhausted enough to barely stand. The anxious feeling of being back amongst the elite and not corresponding to expectations were quickly subsiding with each passing mission, as he built on confidence and finally allowed himself to trust and rely on his teammates. Team Rho's unparalleled fame quickly justified by the high percentage of mission success, and non existent casualties. They truly did complement each other to become a formidable unit. It also didn’t hurt that Tenzo and Yugao were quickly becoming Genma’s strong, reliable friends.  
The fact that he’s a very sociable guy and can make easy conversation with basically everyone combined with his laidback attitude turns him into someone that’s a good listener and confidant. Which is probably how he found himself making tea at his own kitchen for a very distressed looking Tenzo. Genma really did try not to react too negatively to the story, but being a permanent member of one of the high classified teams of the village, made him privy to a very gruesome tale of child programmed soldiers and horrifying experiments. Why Tenzo chose him, of all people, to confess his fears and hopes was beyond him, but he wasn’t about to break that trust.  
And after hearing the story about how Tenzo managed to leave Root, he was confidently calloused enough to not be impressed. Though the nagging feeling of wanting to just pick up his senbons, a certain blonde-haired orphan and just go live on an abandoned island came back stronger than ever. Tenzo was careful with his words, clinical even, like he knew he should be downplaying what really happened. He never directly named anyone, but the subcontext was all there and it only took half a brain cell to connect the dots. Genma really wished he put sake in his tea to burn said cell off his brain. The last thing he needed was more reasons to lose faith in his village.  
Nonetheless, he made sure to calm Tenzo down and kindly address his biggest fears. The fear of never being able to make a meaningful connection to another human being. The fear of being a freak of nature, a pathetic downgraded version of one of the greatest shinobi to ever exist. The fear of letting the one person that saw him as more than just the mokuton down. His savior, his captain.  
Between quiet tears, Tenzo told Genma what was expected of a Root agent, how they’re conditioned not to feel, to exist only as a weapon, barely humans. Asked with an uncertain voice, far from the authoritative tone and easy confidence he had on missions, if Genma thought of him as a friend.  
Genma could be friendly and sociable, but he didn’t really let himself feel deeply about anyone. Comradeship and respect has always been enough. He lost count on the number of people he would gladly give his life for, for as a shinobi life and death weren’t strange concepts, only an eventuality. But to give your heart and soul, to live with the pain, fear and joy, it takes more courage than Genma could ever muster. So amongst the countless emotional ails he ever suffered, he only truly had his heart broken the night Minato died. And now. On the couch in his quiet living room, sharing a cup of tea with a new friend. Hearing said friend crying and insecure and so so broken, but trying so hard to put himself back together, that made his heart break again.  
So if he shed a tear, gave a heartfelt hug and distributed promises of friendship, then that’s his and Tenzo’s business.

\------

So on the surface everything was great. But when it becomes casual enough and you’re accustomed to a routine, it gives you time to worry about more mundane things. Like the fact that your captain seems more and more likely to punch you in the face each time he sees you. At first it was little things. When before he would give a smile and a praise, now it was just a cold distant nod. That’s okay, Genma’s not that attention starved.  
Then, it got slowly worse. Actions and words that made him falter and blink away the small pangs of hurt. When Kakashi reverted to calling him Shiranui, instead of Genma. When on missions, he would ask Yugao to be on his blind side instead; when the ninken no longer accepted his treats or pets; then it started to get really blatantly obvious until even the other members could tell something was wrong.  
Tenzo slowly walked up to him and, half confused and half indignant, asked him, “what did you do? Did you say something to him?”  
Dumbfounded and upset, Genma chose to close himself up and focus more time on his studies of medical ninjutsu. Anything to keep his mind occupied and far away from a very aggravating captain.  
He also made the tactical decision of using his day off to summon a poker night with all of his knuckleheaded friends and making sure to buy a lot of sake. He desperately needed to get drunk.

\------

Meanwhile, on a training ground near the Forest of Death, Mitarashi Anko was starting to lose her patience. She usually didn’t mind, and even welcomed Hatake’s steady, silent presence. But right now, he was getting on her nerves. So instead of throwing more kunai on the innocent wooden post, she decided to get his head out of his ass. You know, like the good friend that she was.  
“Oi, Hatake! Stop with the brooding or get out of here. It’s messing with my aim.”  
Hatake Kakashi, who was clearly brooding, was startled out of his thoughts of a certain senbon user and scowled at the kunoichi.  
“I’m not brooding.”  
“Tch, and I don’t love dango. Spill it out or go bother someone else.”  
Now this was a delicate moment. He could either choose to open up and word his concerns to her, and finally be able to get this frustration out of his chest that’s been building for weeks, or he could bottle it up, leave and go (and fail) to read his dear book somewhere else. Looking at his faithful orange book and accepting the fact that he hasn’t actually turned a page in a couple of hours, he chose the first option.  
Jumping down his favourite tree, hands in his pocket he schooled his expressions and carefully chose his next words.  
“I’m having doubts concerning the new member of my team."  
Anko's demeanor immediately changed from impatient to serious and concerned. See, this was the thing about Anko. For all the angry, scary and insane aura she emitted, deep down she was actually just a big sap. But then again, that's the exact same thing she said about Kakashi, so all is well.  
Their friendship was one of the easiest things that happened, it crept in and suddenly it was there. Solid and reliable. For all that they screamed "incompatible", Kakashi found Anko's friendship a refreshment. She was direct and honest to a fault, took none of his shit and she understood better than anyone what was like to be the center of gossip and angered whispers. Whilst Kakashi was the “friend-killer”, Anko was perpetually associated with the traitor, her former sensei, Orochimaru. Seen as unstable due to her curse mark and lovely personality also didn’t help matters along. So when, one morning, she arrived at a training ground that no one really used anymore looking for solace and found Kakashi sitting on a branch, reading an obscene book, she didn't hesitate in just marching straight to the wooden posts and beginning her training as usual.  
The first few months they didn't talk to each other, though they certainly didn't get in each other's way either.  
Until one day, she was especially frustrated because her T&I application was rejected. They sprung some bullshit reason on her, but in the end she knew the truth. They just didn't want the student of the worst traitor since Madara fucking Uchiha to be privy and have access to the village precious secrets.  
So no one can blame her for missing all of her marks, messing up the katas and being bitten by her own traitorous snake. She was about to go back home to go cry in peace when she noticed Kakashi left his faithful branch. Probably running away from the emotional mess she was being. She couldn't blame him either. So she didn't bother to go home at all and broke down crying right in the middle of the field, instead. Snot, shouts, hiccup's, a real ugly cry. Her eyes so puffy, she almost didn't notice a tall figure leaning in and offering her a stick filled with dangos. She barely took the offering, the man already back to his usual slouch on his tree.  
She cried and laughed a bit longer after that, ate her dango, but composed herself soon enough, said a quiet thanks and went back home. The next week she got summoned by Ibiki to begin training for the role of interrogator. She has no idea how Kakashi pulled it off, but it's forever thankful to him anyways.  
So when the opportunity arose to try and help him too she jumped into the opportunity.  
"Who is he? I can torture his ass for you, no problem."  
"I can't tell you, it's classified." He said that knowing full well she could easily figure it out if she put her mind to it. But he at least had to pretend to put some form of resistance.  
"Tch, tell me what's wrong then."  
"I think he's hiding something from me. He's always guarded when I'm around, measuring his words carefully, forcing himself to be aloof. Like he's reminding himself to calm down. He averts my eyes often, too. But he doesn't do that to others."  
"Do you think he's…?" _Root, she doesn't say._  
"That's the thing, I hand picked him. I thought he could be trusted. I honestly don't know why he's so skittish around me."  
"Well, you're not exactly amicable, Kakashi. Or approachable."  
"It's different with my team. I made sure to be open and receptive. There's no place for distrust or bad blood in the sort of mission we go to. I’m thinking about getting him reassigned, but then I won't be able to keep an eye on him."  
"Tell me who he is, I'll look around for you."  
He took a moment to search their surroundings to make sure they were alone before saying in a quiet whisper "Shiranui Genma".  
The training ground was so silent and the air was thick with tension, which is why it was such a shock when Anko blinks two times before throwing her head back and laughing the loudest and more scandalous laugh he ever heard anyone give.  
It went on for a good couple of minutes, before she stopped and looked at him, head tilted to the side. Pity and humour in her eyes. He knew those eyes very well. It was the look he gave to people when they were being too slow for him. A "you poor thing, you'll get there" look. Yes, he knew it very well, he invented that look. So being at the other end of it was as irritating as it was confusing.  
"What?! What am I missing?"  
"Oh, he's hiding something alright. Come to poker night at Raidou's house Friday night and you'll figure it out."  
He definitely did not want to do that. But then again, Anko was already back to her training and that meant he wouldn't be getting anything else out of her. But the whole situation with Genma was making him lose his mind. He thought he could trust the man whose duty once was to guard Minato-sensei. If the Yondaime trusted him with his life, Kakashi thought he could do the same, which is why when he had the opportunity to choose which rookie he wanted on his team, he didn't hesitate.  
He had two theories as to why Genma was acting the way he was. Either he was a traitor, a spy planted by Danzo to get to him or Tenzo, or -and he dreaded that option even more- Genma resented him for getting Obito and Rin killed. They were good friends, after all. Genma probably knew more about his teammates than he ever did.  
But soon they were going to be sent out for higher rank missions and he couldn't let the mood between them remain the way it was. He had to trust all of his comrades, and they had to have faith in him.  
So, yea… poker night it is then.

\------


	5. Poker Night

His bandana was the first thing to go. The bastards even took his precious senbons, thinking they were being so clever. By the end of the first bottle his jacket was also gone. By the time he was only in his trousers and boxers, he noticed how small Raidou's apartment was for so many people crowding around. It was hot. So he did something he knew people would give him shit for later, but oh, well. He put his hair up in a bun, like he's seen girls around the village doing. It was really hot, okay? By the second bottle he completely lost all of his clothes (except for his boxers) and was still playing poker for the fuck of it, since he knew he had no poker face at all after the third cup.  
But the pleasant buzzing down his veins, the fuzzy thoughts and being amongst his friends, as menaced as they could get, was everything he needed after the last few weeks. Today was not the day to think about silver haired bastards who led him on with nice eye smiles only to take it all away later to be a mean jerk! No, he wouldn't think of him now. Only on the nice taste of sake down his throat and on trying to outwit Anko. Who was suspiciously looking very pleased with herself for some reason. But today was not the day to investigate. He had to sober up enough to not lose his boxers at least. That would be a low even for him.  
He was focusing very very hard on his cards, when the doorbell rang, which was weird because everyone was already here. He only hoped it wasn't one of those Uchiha assholes cops telling them to tone it down or some shit. Except, if it was that Shisui kid he wouldn't mind getting arrested. Why is everyone so quiet? He looked up around and then to the door. It took him a second to comprehend what he was seeing. He choked on his own spit.

\------

Anko bit her lip. Hard. So hard it drew blood. But she had to keep cool, laughing now would derail everything and spook Kakashi away. She knew he would show up, after all if there's anything he hates more than socializing is an unsolved puzzle. She considered just telling him straightforward about Genma's epic crush, but the golden opportunity to mess with Genma was so so unique and great that not even Kakashi's lost puppy eyes dissuaded her from setting this up. And who knows, maybe Genma will finally man up and confess his feelings. If he does that butt naked then that's only a plus.  
Man, this night is already legendary.

\------

I mean, he knew him casually going out was a rare sight. He only ever did that on special occasions with his team, but the whole staring and gaping was honestly a gross overreaction. Literally everybody inside of the apartment stopped what they were doing to stare incredulously at him, except for Anko who looked like she was having a stroke and a very naked Genma who was looking at his cards like they were on fire.  
"Yo. Anko invited me?"  
Thank the Sage for Gai. He really didn't feel like getting kicked out, that would be way too humiliating even for him.  
"MY RIVAL! HOW YOUTHFUL! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKER GAME!"  
Then, slowly, people started behaving like humans again going back to their activities. He released a sigh he didn't know he was holding. Asuma and Kurenai were there, he could deal with them. And they were playing poker with a very drunk Genma, who was clearly losing and choking on something.  
"Are you alright, Genma-san? You look a bit flustered." He politely asked while sitting down on the table.   
That only made the man choke harder, and he excused himself to go to the bathroom, Anko hot in his heels. So was that what he was hiding? He's boning Anko? He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.   
"What's up with that?" He asked Asuma who was looking at the retreating couple with an amused smirk.   
But before he could get an answer, the couple came back and sat down again on the table. Gemma was very annoyingly avoiding eye contact with everyone and Anko was very obviously annoyed with something.  
Gemma had a dark blue kimono draping on his broad shoulders. Kakashi thought that was cheating, but since no one chose to comment he also refrained from saying anything.   
Not long into the game, Kakashi noticed how everyone was ganging up on Genma trying to get him to lose the rest of the few clothing he had. He looked very uncomfortable and flustered so Kakashi, as a form of peace offering for basically crashing his kouhai's time with his friends, started to win all the rounds and make other people take off their clothes instead. When they noticed he wasn't messing around, they quickly gave up and chose another game. One that didn't involve getting someone into an alcoholic coma while naked.  
A drunk Genma was very distracting. A completely different person than the ANBU agent under his command. None of those confident smiles or sassy remarks to get Tenzo embarrassed. He wouldn't stop messing with his hair, putting the loose strands behind his ear. With his hair up, it was easier to notice his strong jawline and without the senbon drawing attention to his mouth, his caramel colored eyes were more prominent.  
He was definitely avoiding any form of contact with Kakashi. Any attempts on conversation were smoothly diverted or, on one slightly embarrassing occasion, straight out ignored.  
He gave up trying, no closer to the big secret than he was at the beginning of the night. Anko was also very cleverly making herself sparse.  
Clearly the man didn't trust himself to guard a secret around Kakashi, and his eyes were getting more and more focused as time passed by. ‘Well, that won't do.’  
So he sat down next to Genma and started to refill his cup frequently, shooting him one of those smiles that he knew that ennerved people. A subtle, "do as I tell you or else". And Genma, such a good kohai, understood and didn't deny the cups, slowly working his way up to a drunk state once again.  
By then people were starting to leave and the night was coming to an end. He needed to ask questions fast, before he lost his chance.  
But all of a sudden the host, another tokubetsu jounin called Raidou shooed Kakashi out of his house, but not before shoving a very drunk Genma on his arms, along with what looked like his clothes and forcibly removed the kimono from his shoulder. Kakashi frowned a bit at that. That was unnecessarily cruel. And he was about to say so when Raidou smirked at them and said  
"You'll make sure Genma-kun gets home safe, right? After all, one can never leave his comrades behind." And with a final grin, who was way too evil for his liking, the man closed the door on their faces with a loud sounding slam.  
He looked down to the drunken naked mess on his arms, not knowing what to do. Maybe he took things too far? Genma was barely awake, head on his shoulders, staying up only by Kakashi's arms around his waist.  
"Maa, where do you live Genma?"  
"Down the barracks." Was the very muffled quiet answer.  
He looked at the clothes on his other arms and remembered how embarrassed Genma was and proceeded to clothe the man before making their way out the street.

"I'm sorry…"  
Kakashi looked down on Genma and frowned.  
"What for?"  
"Whatever it was I did or said that made you mad at me."

Kakashi chose not to question the man, he was already feeling bad enough for getting him this drunk and the heartfelt apology. He still had no idea what Anko meant by all of that laughing, but if she wasn't concerned then he probably could trust Genma to be on his team. He could solve the big mystery on a later date.  
They walked quietly to Genma's apartment, a few blocks away. Genma stumbled a bit then and there, but with Kakashi's support they finally made it to an apartment complex exclusive for shinobis.   
"This is me, thank you for taking me home."  
And then Genma did the one thing that Kakashi would've never predicted, also the reason why he was way too slow to react at all. With a quick lean, Genma kissed him on the lips above his mask. It was only a peck and didn't last more than five seconds, before the man happily made his way inside the building towards his apartment, leaving a very bewildered Kakashi on the cold street.

And just like that, the puzzle was solved. "Oh. I see…"

\------


	6. Aftermath, Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genma has to deal with the aftermath of his drunken actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I started posting this I just had a few cute moments between Kakashi and Genma in mind. But now I thought of a plot and I want to start working steering the story towards that. I'm not completely happy with this chapter but I wanted to post something to get going again.  
> If you have suggestions I’d love to hear about it. I know the pacing and the narrative it’s a bit wobbly but if I don’t just write out what I’m thinking, the story won’t move forward. Thank you to those who are following the story and leaving kudos and nice comments.

When Genma woke up, he couldn't help but feel like he was stuck in a deja vu from hell. Like he pissed off an Uchiha who casted a particularly nasty genjutsu on him. The drool on his cheeks instantly forgotten when he noticed he wasn't alone in his apartment, quickly getting up and reaching his senbons, which thankfully were safely stored in his pouch, he silently went outside of his bedroom to see who was there.  
It was Raidou, not an enemy, but that didn't mean Genma couldn't throw a senbon or two at the invader anyways.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Well, I was kinda hoping I'd be able to catch a certain masked man, without his mask, if you know what I mean."  
Gemma didn't frown because he knew that would only worsen his headache, but he did throw another senbon, which was annoyingly easily evaded.  
"What the fuck are you talking about?"  
"Oh, please tell me you remember! It's not half as fun if you don't remember"  
Truth be told he didn't want to remember. He didn't want to think, at all. Just go back to bed and die for a day or two before being able to face the world again.  
But, sadly, one does not simply turn off their brains without the aid of medicines, alcohol or an Yamanaka. So like another evil genjutsu, flashes of the other night came rushing through his head: poker, drunk, naked, it was hot, my hair kept falling on my face, Kakashi. Shit!   
_Shit.  
_ Kakashi was being nice again, so confusing. Then he was drunk again. Raidou was being an asshole.  
"Oh Sage, you shoved my naked ass into his lap! You asshole!"  
Oh Sage, the walk back home.  
The kiss!  
Oh Sage, no.  
"Oh Sage, Raidou, I kissed him".  
"Fucking finally, Genma! Why do you look like you just killed a baby? Was it that bad? Is he ugly? Does he have buck teeth? Dog breath? Was he mean to you? What happened? Why aren't you whooping in joy?"  
 _Fuuuck.  
_ "I didn't see his face, it was just a peck above his mask. Ughh, but still I can't fucking believe this. Why the fuck was he there last night anyways? He never bothered to even listen to our invitations before!"  
"Hmm, he said Anko invited him. I didn't even know they were acquainted, less alone friends. But he did seem awfully interested in you."  
Genma's heart skipped a beat, and he sincerely hoped it wasn't a heart attack. But Raidou wasn't very reliable on his accounts. The bastard always took way too much pleasure in teasing Genma's hopeless crush.  
"Don't you have something else to do, other than fuck with me?"  
Raidou scoffed and crossed his arms, way less amused now that Gemma was clearly freaking out.  
"If you don't believe me ask anyone else that was there. He kept eyeing you, prying you into conversation. I honestly never saw him put that much effort into anything other than training. Which is why it was so surprising when you kept ignoring him. Were you playing hard to get?"  
"No, I was… drunk and out of my mind."  
"Well, how did he react to you kissing him? Your nose doesn't look broken and you still have all your teeth, so that's a good sign, right?"  
 _Fuck. Is it?_   
Genma gingerly sat down on his couch, head on his hands.  
"I need to be alone, Raidou. I have a resignation letter to write. Mortal embarrassment is a good excuse for retirement, right?"

\------

Thank the Sage for coffee. He was on his second cup, the next morning, when he heard a polite knock on the door. There stood Tenzo, looking uncharacteristically chipper.  
"Good morning, Genma! Kakashi-taichou sent me to fetch you, he wants us to do some team building exercising before our next big mission. He definitely looked like he was in a better mood, so I'm assuming you guys worked it out?"  
Now, Tenzo was one of the few, if not the only, people in his life that didn't bother with gossip and prying into his life. So it warmed his heart to know that he was asking out of genuine concern. The last day was, well... Gemma did walk all the way to the Hokage Tower, transfer letter request on his hand, before giving up and walking his way back to his apartment. Kakashi didn't kill him, so yes, like Raidou said, a good sign.  
It meant that Kakashi clearly knew Genma wasn't in his right mind and probably didn't even think about it twice. After all, he must get propositions all the time, so a chaste kiss from a drunken idiot it's probably not a big deal. With that in mind he burned his letter and chose to do what he always did when confronted with unnerving situations: don't suffer from anticipation and take what it comes to you in stride. Solutions usually presented themselves in time, and if not, he'd adapt, like he always did.

"We… talked. And he wasn't cold to me anymore."  
There, a perfect response, since it was the truth.  
A very condensed, bordering on lie by omission truth. But, truth.  
Tenzo's grin was equally unnerving and reassuring.   
"Don't worry, if Senpai has a problem with you, he'll eventually tell you to your face. You're part of our team, after all." 

\------

Kakashi, unsurprisingly, was pretending that nothing happened. Genma was half disappointed and half relieved upon arriving at the training ground and receiving only a polite nod from his captain. Not that he expected fiery kisses or any love declarations (one can dream, though). At least the eye-smiles were back, which means that all of the fuss and panic he went through the day after the kiss was a slight exaggeration.  
The drills they went through that day confirmed what Tenzo said that morning, Kakashi was hell bent on perfecting their formations and instilling into them trust and comradeship. The few missions Genma completed with his new team so far were blissfully casualty free, and with the exception of the first mission back, they all went surprisingly easy going. No major traumatic events so far. It scared Genma, the easiness to which he went back to killing so often, going back home covered in blood, bruises and aches all in a good work’s day. As much as he once loathed coming back, now, a few months later, he no longer felt the need to drown himself in alcohol every time he had to think about putting on that mask.  
Maybe it was the fact that he gained two more good friends in Yugao and Tenzo, who despite adoring Kakashi, didn't take his side when the stoic captain started ignoring and shunning Genma for no apparent reason. They still didn't go out in public, too preoccupied with secret identities and some sense of anonymity, but home visits for tea were becoming too common, and he couldn't figure out to this day what was it about his crappy apartment that attracted waywards shinobis like his new teammates.  
Kakashi was apparently now warming up to him again, if the offer to spar and the gentle chiding and corrections were anything to go by. Maybe the kiss was a good thing and he was so fucking relieved that the man wasn't mad at him, that he didn't even have the time to dare to hope. He really couldn't afford more disappointment, so he firmly attributed Kakashi's good mood to the apology he gave the other night. He still doesn't know why he was apologizing, but damn if wasn't sincere.  
As to the other team member, who he still had some difficulty recalling the name, the guy was still just background white noise, though he was certainly competent as a medic, Genma was doing his best each mission to not get hurt and not need the man's care. It was like being treated by an ice wall, such a distance the man made sure to put between him and his patients. The fact that Genma finished the basic course of medical jutsu in the hospital also helped to increase said distance, since now he could treat the majority of his own wounds without needing assistance.  
For a man who's been killing since he was 13 years old, he was surprised to see how well he took to medicine and healing. His fine chakra control does wonders in assisting him in his studies. He was still waiting to be accepted into a more advanced course in the hospital, though he was trying to keep his expectations low, knowing full well that those programs often required a recommendation to get in. He wasn't too keen on his team or his commander finding out either. If they knew he was becoming a medic nin, he would for sure be out of Team's Rho and placed on another team. Hiding one's abilities were as frowned upon as falsely boosting them, but it's not like he could bring himself to care if his omissions came across as slightly rebellious.

His musings and internal dialogues were cut short when Kakashi slipped into his captain persona and straightened his posture.  
"Alright team, the real reason I brought you here today was to make sure we're all working well as a cohesive unit. Now that Genma had plenty of time to integrate with the team, I'm confident that we can take higher ranked missions. The Hokage already has one in mind and he was waiting for my final evaluation before passing it to a team. Satisfied with today's results I'll be formally accepting the mission. The details are still a bit scarce, but it's a time sensitive one and will take us into the winter of Land of Snow, so pack yourselves accordingly. We should be leaving the gates tomorrow at first dawn. Don't be late. For today is all, go home, get some rest. This will be a tough one. You’re all dismissed."  
And without sparing a glance in Genma's direction the man disappeared on a swirl of leaves.

"Ughh, how can taichou be in a good mood knowing we'll be pretty soon freezing our asses in that damn country is beyond me."  
Was Tenzo actually whining? Genma prayed that his ill hidden displeasure for his job wasn't rubbing off on the man.  
"Ohh, I know why he's in a good mood. But why don't you tell us, Genma?"  
Was Yugao teasing him? What is wrong with this team, today, honestly. Bewildered beyond words by this whole situation and still trying to remember where he kept his winter cloak, which he hasn't touched in ages, he only barely registered the implications of what his purple haired teammate said, before turning to her and very intelligently retorting.  
"What?"   
And now even Hioshi (that's his name!) was showing mild interest in the conversation.  
"Well, rumour has it that Kakashi-taichou was such a gentleman and escorted a very drunk young man back home a few nights ago."

He shouldn't be surprised, really. He shouldn't. With how many people there were at Raidou's house, he should've known people would whisper and gossip like retired old ladies. It was probably those damn chuunins that are always guarding the gate. It's in their job description to know the comings and goings of shinobi after all. _Dammit_ . And of course, Kakashi's rare social outing was an action worthy of gossip in itself. But between his internal freaking out, somehow he didn't even consider the falling out of the other night.   
"Didn't take you to listen to cheap gossip, Yugao."  
And he even managed to phrase that in such a bored tone that even he believed in it for a second. Refraining from giving himself a pat on the back he gave Yugao the most unimpressed look he could manage.  
It worked and thank the Sage she only huffed before making her way out of the field. Tenzo would be trickier to appease if his brows furrowed in thought and confusion were any indication, so instead, Genma made a very dignified hasty retreat and without looking back at the man said goodbye and shunshined away. He had a winter cloak to find.

\------


	7. The Land of Snow Mission

His cloak is in an absolute deplorable state, really he should be ashamed of even considering actually wearing the thing in front of other people, especially Kakashi, but those icy mountains near Yukigakure are no joke and the ridiculous bare ANBU uniform will do absolutely nothing to help with protecting him from the gelid air and ever falling heavy snow. And in such short notice it will be a miracle if he can actually find a decent replacement in any shinobi store in Konoha. After all, this kind of heavy clothing can only be purchased through special orderings. So, tattered, dusty and mold smelling cloak it is. He’s lucky enough that he found the thing back in his closet, underneath a pile of forgotten old blankets and a few dubious looking towels in the first place. Resigning himself to the fact that just airing the cloak for a night it’s the best he can do, he begins to pack the rest of his equipment. Double checking everything and making sure to put some extra thick socks he turns to look to his newly acquired medical kit. He’s been tweaking and replacing stuff ever since he began his medical training but now he’s fully satisfied with the result. It’s a lot of extra heavy weight to carry, but being stranded in the dead of winter wounded it’s especially dangerous so the decision is easily made. The fact that Hioshi is an absolute cheap bastard with his supplies weighs heavily into his decision as well. He can afford to forgo a couple of shuriken, it’s not like he ever uses them anyways.  
The ration bars that he loathes are also heavily featured in his bag, but he allows himself a couple of chocolate bars as well as a small supply of tea bags. Something sweet and a hot beverage is always a useful thing in order to lift morale.  
Fully satisfied he takes what he knows will be the last warm bath he’ll get in a long time and prepares himself mentally for the hard mission ahead. He remembers painfully well the hardships of fighting on snowy grounds, and how after a while the cold clings to the skin and it becomes so hard to remember how warm the sun can be, or how good fresh grass can smell. He doesn’t know how long it will take, but just the journey will most likely take at least a month and he can only hope that they won’t have to suffer through a blizzard or a sea storm on the way there.  
The first, and thankfully, the only time he ever went so far away from home, he was still a genin and they barely made it past the coast towards the white mountains, but the tumultuous boat trip there was remarkably bad enough. Even Gai was his less boisterous self, such was the snow and cold taking its heavy toll on them. It’s really hard to go around yelling about youthful springs when your socks are wet and you can’t feel or move your toes, after all.  
For all Konoha’s faults and shady inner workings that he can’t honestly bother to learn about, he is grateful for the smell of the trees and grass on rainy mornings and how the sun is always warm in the afternoon, before disappearing behind the hokage mountain. With that thought in mind he has one last thing to check on before he can retire for the night and get much needed rest and sleep.  
He makes his way out of his apartment and towards the red district, stopping outside a modest apartment building perching himself on a big branch that gives him direct visual access inside the crappy apartment of one Uzumaki Naruto. He nods to the ANBU guard on the nearby tree and settles comfortably on the branch. The blonde small child inside the apartment is almost 6 years old now and each day that it passes he resembles his father more and more. The eyes and hair color are a dead giveaway, but it’s also the genuine warm smiles and the spine made of steel that makes Genma shiver with nostalgia and grief. For all that the kid is loud and obnoxious in personality and temper, unconsciously taking after his mother, in the quiet of night, when he’s alone and away from cruel glares and words, he’s all Minato. Once the crying is over with, all that is left is quiet contemplation and fiery determination to face the other day with the same resolution of not showing pain and weakness to those who wish him harm.   
Even from outside the window, Genma can tell that the kid is too skinny for his age, and who the fuck lets a six year old living on his own in an apartment that’s right beside a brothel? Why, the Sandaime of course. And it grates on his nerves so much, that the kid looks up to the old man with adoration and awe, because it’s such a cheap and obvious form of emotional manipulation that it takes every fiber he has to not do… something. Anything. He learned his lesson, after spending two months non stop, on his own, patrolling the border with Suna. All because he couldn’t help himself and approached little Naruto to give some kind of comfort to the kid that so badly and obviously needed it. Just a hug, a pat on the head and some comforting words. Looking back, Genma knows that giving Naruto the fox plushie was definitely pushing it, but now seeing how the boy still sleeps with the now ragged thing on his arms every night makes the bullshit patrol/punishment that he had to endure worth it. He barely remembers the sunburns and dehydration when all he can think about was how that small whiskered cheek just lit up like fireworks for him. And how that smile, that it was all Minato, was so sincere and just for him.  
He somewhat understands, he needs to force himself to think that the excuses that were given makes sense, otherwise he won’t be able to sleep at night or look his friends in the eye. After all it is dangerous, he knows how many enemies Minato made in the war. After all he was the one to keep at least half a dozen of Iwa nins to try and assassinate the man during his short reign, so he knows the danger is real. That there are those out there that would kill the small kid just because of who his parents were. But nothing justifies the hatred he receives from his own peers, and ostracizing and isolating him just to keep him from getting killed sometimes doesn’t feel like a fair trade. And those are just the exterior obvious enemies. Genma won’t kid himself into thinking he understands fully the inner politics of why, in the name of the Sage, that not one soul can step up and adopt the boy. All he knows is that it always comes down to the Nine-Tails. And he knows that in the council and clan meetings, they throw around terms such as jinchuuriki and beast, but never _his_ name. He is never Naruto. Never, not once, was he Minato’s son. Always “asset”, “weapon”, “insurance”.  
But Genma chooses to believe that all that made Naruto’s parents monstrously strong shinobis will bleed into the kid as well, and he’ll grow to be strong enough to surpass his broken childhood and rise to be great. And on that day, Genma wants to be there and look into azure blue eyes and beg for forgiveness. Until then he has to content himself with watching from afar. So is the life of a good little shinobi.

\------

The next day, after running for more than 14 hours with only short breaks in between, they finally stop near a river to camp for the night. Only then does Kakashi bother to explain the details and premises of the mission. Apparently Takigakure’s merchant ships are being taken down by pirates and between losing working men and a ridiculous amount of merchandise, the losses were becoming big enough for them to finally turn their prideful noses to Konoha and ask for help. The reason why the mission is so high ranked it’s the importance of success to strengthen the shaky diplomatic relations between the two countries. After all, Konoha can only benefit from forming a strong alliance with Takigakure and this is supposedly the big push they were waiting for to reopen negotiations in more friendly terms. So it’s up to Team Rho to take a small inconspicuous boat, cross the Aisu Bay and find the location of where the pirate ships are based. Taki intel puts them on the most southern part of the Snow Country, just east of the conglomerate of smaller islands. Their priority mission is destroying the ships, and if possible locating and eliminating the captains of said ships, who are the leaders of the merry group of miscreants. So five shinobis against around an estimate of fifty pirates. If they are mere civilians, the chances are definitely in their favor, but if somehow there’s chakra trained individuals, even if it’s just half a dozen, that already complicates things way more than Genma’s comfortable with. But of course, if it was simple, they wouldn’t be sending their top assault and infiltration ANBU team.  
Even surrounded by the warmth of the campfire and each other, it’s hard to keep the worry off their faces. The dangers of facing off against an uncertain number of enemies and knowing next to nothing about their abilities or lack thereof, whilst in extreme hostile territory it’s definitely a mood dampener. So they eat the small hare they caught and cooked (gotta save those ration bars for when they really need) in companionable silence. The usual playfulness between them completely put aside.  
There’s still a long way to go by foot, until they reach the border with Waterfall Country to meet their contact and they’re still on the heart of Fire Country, as safe as they can be and surrounded by big trees with huge and tall canopies that it still screams home, but Genma can’t help but feel homesick already. And if the downcast look on his teammates faces is any indication, they’re feeling the same.  
But he forces himself to fall on the mission routine, after all this part is easy. Guarding shifts, the waiting for the night to end, the few crappy sleep they can get, the hunting small animals, making a campfire, erasing signs of said campfire, covering their tracks, etc. Wash, rinse, repeat.  
By the end of the first week they finally cross the border and the boredom they all can’t help but feel helps to ease them back into a lighter mood. They can worry about failing and dying and killing later.  
Their Taki contact is a stern, bald and short man, who barely makes the effort to hide his displeasure in having to accept help from foreign shinobis. He talks only with Kakashi and barely glances at the rest of the team. His job is to escort them to the Hidden Waterfall Village, they can’t have Konoha shinobi running around their country unsupervised, after all. Once in the hidden village, they can spend the night to rest and refill their supplies before making their way north where there will be a ship and a guide waiting for them.  
For all the proud scornful look the man gives, he’s infuriatingly slow and forces them to diminish their pace. So it takes them 2 days longer to arrive in the capital. Thankfully the man says his goodbye and with the most fake smile Genma’s ever remembers seeing, wishes them luck. They’re sweaty, tired and irritated from all the travel and so Kakashi takes pity and allows them to change to their civilian clothes and lets them spend the rest of the afternoon and the night on the city before moving at dawn towards their destination. As soon as he dismisses them, with only the name of the inn they’re supposed to stay in, he disappears on the crowd, Hioshi following close behind. Between the three remaining members of the team they conjure up a plan to at least enjoy the city a bit before going to an onsen and finally settling down for the night. Genma wants to visit the small gift shops and more touristic places to see if he can buy some souvenirs to give Naruto when he comes back. Maybe find another fox plushie. For obvious reasons, they’re unsurprisingly hard (impossible) to come by anywhere near Konoha, but the other villages aren’t as nearly reserved. According to the merchant from the Land of Iron that Genma likes to buy a paralytic from, it’s common practice in Iwa to sell a nine-tails fox in form of toys for the kids, they also like to put kitsunes in all sorts of merchandise. Well, never be said that the Tsuchikage doesn’t have a sense of humour, as twisted as it may be.  
In the end he doesn’t find anything fox related that it’s acceptable to give to a kid, but the set of orange pajamas filled with small green toads it’s cute enough and it will do just fine. He carefully puts that in the bottom of his bag and hopes one more time that he can come back in one piece and find a way to give it to Naruto.

\------

The rest of the trip was uneventful and as soon as they arrived at the small port they’re accosted by a jumpy young man and the feeling of foreboding that befell them so many days ago returned with a vengeance when the kid avoided eye contact with Kakashi and began to give half answers to his inquiries. Apparently the guide that was supposed to help them cross the bay was nowhere to be found and they would have to make the trip on their own. The only reason they didn’t abandon the mission to return home was the fact that Hioshi’s father was a fisherman from the south of Fire Country and taught his son how to sail and navigate small ships at a young age. They no longer had time to waste and they couldn’t afford to wait for a messenger to go all the way back to Konoha with confirmation, so with the reassurance from Hioshi that he could get them where they needed to go, Kakashi made the decision of moving forward.  
Up on the north there was already a small but constant flow of snow coming down, but the skies were clear and the possibility of a storm was minimal. Thank the Sage for small mercies, but true to his word, Hioshi sailed the small ship and two days later they arrived at a small beach between a few cliffs without further incidents. Still, the apprehension amongst them was so high, that they barely noticed when Genma took his battered old cloak and put it on. For all he complained about it, at least it was a high quality material and the thick heavy fabric did wonders in protecting him from the coastal freezing wind and annoyingly constant snowflakes.  
They found shelter under a small cave hidden away by big boulders and pointy rock formations and set out in turns to patrol the area to find the accursed base. Thankfully, it’s no easy feat to hide 5 modest caravels type of ship, built specially for raids. Approach, attack, retreat at high speed. Nasty stuff, albeit no one can argue its efficiency. Luckily they were all made of plain wood and Genma knows that between the few katon jutsus Kakashi knows and a dozen of well placed seal tag explosives they can sink the little things before anyone can mobilize a defense. The bigger problem laid on the fact that there were at least 70 men guarding the base, and between them there were a few nukenin from various different hidden villages. So their assault would have to rely heavily on stealth and speed. They would have to split up so as to not attract attention. Genma and Kakashi would sneak aboard, assassinate the two captains and on their way out destroy the respective ships. That would be the signal for the others to move and destroy the remaining three. One shinobi for each ship. Unfortunately, once the first explosion went down, they would have to literally fight their way out, but Kakashi was confident that with Tenzo’s mokuton they had a big advantage and the element of surprise and could eliminate the few nukenin with relative ease. Kakashi would help Tenzo and Yugao and Genma would cover their backs taking out the rest of the crew, whilst Hioshi would go for the flanks, taking out whoever he could and keeping himself out of the main fight. In the end, they would be in great need of his medic’s abilities, without a doubt.  
There was absolutely nothing graceful about their retreat “plan” but it would be nigh impossible to do such damage and get out unscathed and undetected. Sloppy and ugly, a clusterfuck, Genma thought, but didn’t say. And for the first time in years, he doubted Kakashi’s capabilities and fame. So he took a deep breath and looked at his teammates, who looked awfully calm and determined with the unwavering faith in their captain clear in their faces and posture. So he kept telling himself over and over again how they knew Kakashi better than he did, how they fought alongside the man for years and he never failed to bring them home. It would have to be enough, there was no space for doubts and second guesses here.  
So as the night fell, they all slept for a couple of hours, with Kakashi’s ninken keeping guard. They would make their move late at night, hoping that most of the crew would be asleep and blissfully unaware of sinking ships and sneaky ANBU teams.

\------

The caravels were rocking slowly resonating with the calm sea waves. They were located in a ship graveyard, no doubt long forgotten. But the men that couldn’t sleep inside the caravels were camping on small tents spread throughout the beach. Their shadowed forms only visible in small intervals where the clouds weren’t obstructing the moonlight. The eerie silence only interrupted by the calming sounds coming from the sea waters crashing unrelentless on the rocks. The ships were badly lit with small torches on their docks, guarded by a couple of civilian sentinels. The nukenin, nowhere to be seen. No doubt they had a place of honour inside the ships, where the cover against the snow and wind were much better. And inside the ship, in a small private chamber it’s where the captain would most likely be, and that’s what Genma needed to find. In the distance he could see a head of silver hair reflecting off the moonlight, while Kakashi made his way to the ship farther down the line, where the second captain was.  
Thankfully the two guards above the ship were inexperienced civilians, no doubt the ones to draw the shortest straw that particular day, the unlucky bastards. Using a kunai to cut the throat of the first one and a senbon with a strong poison to strike the second guard’s neck from a distance, Genma waited for both of them to finally drew in their last breaths, making sure that no one else heard the commotion, to move to the small stairwell leading down the ship’s hull towards the captain’s cabin. His neck pricking and every instinct in his body screaming at him to get out, because there’s so many presences down there and it’s so fucking dark and he doesn’t have a stupid magic eye to see in the dark, and his other senses only take him so far. Push down the panic. Calm down, no one knows you’re here. Breathe. In. Out. A panicked shinobi is a dead shinobi, calm down. But his heart is beating so loud in his chest and he’s sure that everyone in the ship can hear it too. But he can’t stop now, because he can hear at a distance the beginning of the confusion. Kakashi’s already done his part and you’re running out of time, Genma. MOVE! You have a stupid pajama to give and apologies to make and, fuck, if he gets out alive and if Kakashi makes it out alive too he’ll fucking confess, because he’s not ready to die yet, with so much to still do and acomplish. So he shuts away the fear and moves to the cabin, kills the fucker who never saw it coming, places the explosive tags on the most vulnerable points of the ship, gets out and fights, fights, fights. He can see now, clearly the smoke coming from the last ship down the line, and he can already hear the sound of a thousand chipping birds and the shadows on the beach starting to move and rise like a fucking army of Death, and so he forces himself to run, he needs to be away from the ship if he doesn’t want to get caught in the explosion and the others need to move right now if they want to destroy the remaining ships. He jumps down the water, because there’s already enemies chasing after him, raising every hair on his neck and arms, and before his feet can touch the freezing water he releases the seals. “Kai!” And the explosion is muffled by the loud splash and the shock coursing through his body, and the cold air has absolutely nothing on the glacial piercing water, and if he doesn’t die with a kunai on his chest, the hypothermia will surely get him. But he needs to help, he needs to cover Tenzo and his insane mokuton and make sure that he will see Konoha’s sunset once again.  
So he swims, though it feels more like just flailing around and pretending he’s in control, but before he knows it he can touch the ground with his feet and there’s sand on his face and now there’s only one ship remaining. He needs to get out of the water because he can see bodies, alive and dead alike afloat at sea. Those that made out the ships, whether breathing or not. And the silver moon is slowly turning red with all the smoke and fire, and now there’s snow and ashes falling all around him. And with the smell of smoke and burnt wood, there is the smell of scorched flesh, and it’s not the first time he smells it, but there’s so many now and he needs to push down the need to vomit on the sand. He needs to get up and fight, now. He needs to know why the last ship is still standing, because that means one of them didn’t make it and depending on who it was they need to adjust their stupid half assed plan. So he runs and all the while he’s blocking sloppy blows and barely listening to the battle cries that those poor condemned souls are making. They’re just silly civilians, using small pieces of steel and iron to defend themselves, illusioning themselves with what little power they were given, and it’s so easy to cut them down, and they go down so easily too. Between the dozen he took out, he kinda understands now why his teammates were so confident, because what they are doing, it’s not a fight, it’s a massacre. But he can’t stop or have mercy now because he needs to go back home, needs to make sure that there’s someone looking after Naruto, and he still needs to find the bastard that spilled the beans to the entire village about him and Kakashi, but fuck there’s not a “him and Kakashi” yet, but he’ll make sure he’ll try. No more fucking pining at a distance.  
And then he trips down a body, he’s so distraught and running purely on adrenaline and instinct that it takes him a couple of seconds to recognize the face. He immediately feels guilty because he doesn’t remember the guy’s name again, and he’s so glad it’s him and not the others, and fuck if he’s not a terrible excuse of a human being, but at least now he knows why the last ship isn’t burning like the others. He needs to find the rest of his team and they need to regroup so Kakashi can bark out orders because he really doesn't have a clue on how they’re gonna get out of this mess.  
The beach is an open battlefield now, and the white snow covering the golden grains of sand is becoming redder by the second. And he can see twisted branches and vines surrounding and impaling bodies, and there are a few that are slashed and cut down, and there’s one of the nukenin that has a gaping hole in his chest. And he’s so relieved that he can now see, around one of the campfires the streaks of purple and silver hair fighting side by side. Yugao and Kakashi are okay and being fucking terrifying, dancing around each other, covering perfectly each other’s weak points but Genma can see how overwhelmed and exhausted they look. He does one last sweep of the area cataloguing positions and status and the relief he felt seeing two of his teammates alive is cruelly and instantly pushed down when he realizes he can’t see Tenzo anywhere, despite evidence of him joining the fight being clear in the wooden elements spread around the beach.   
“GENMA!”  
And that’s Kakashi’s captain voice, resounding so loud and clear rising above screams and sounds of clashing steel, burning cracking wood and there in the distance the water still battling against the cliffs. Then finally, after what felt like hours he approaches his teammates position but before he can position himself to fight alongside them, Kakashi is ordering him to go after Tenzo.  
“He disappeared into the forest, go help him.”  
And the tone is calm and with the certainty of a battle hardened commander but Genma spares a few seconds to catch the panic and plead behind mismatched eyes and to hear the command that wasn’t spoken out loud. “Save him, please. I can’t lose him.”  
So he cuts down a couple more bodies that were rushing against him and makes a run for it, across the beach there’s a dense line of trees, and even in the dead of night all he can see is white. On the ground and on the top of the trees, the snow clinging to the dry branches forming a thin cloak. Luckily, in these conditions it is easy to find the tracks and signs of struggle pointing out the most likely position that Tenzo retreated to. Three different marks of steps, meaning there’s at least two powerful enemies after the mokuton user. Makes sense, to send the strongest ones gang up on the one that was absolutely ravishing their forces with a stupid miraculous and unpredictable kekkei genkai. After all no one ever expects to get hit on the face by a fucking branch sprouting off the ground out of nowhere.  
Now the silence falls over him again, far away enough from the beach to not hear the battle chaos and not close enough to Tenzo to hear his fight. So he runs faster, even though he can feel every part of his body succumbing to shivers. And he hopes that his elevated heartbeat and breathing is due only to the adrenaline of the fight.  
With the increased pacing it doesn’t take him long to find Tenzo. He hears it first, the loud breathing and occasional clashing of two kunais. He passes down one nin, slashed kiri headband, still alive but barely conscious. Kunai to the chest and there’s no more pain. Small mercies. At least there’s nothing in their mission directives that indicated the need for interrogation of prisoners. Lucky bastard, that one, though the part of Genma’s brain that is annoyingly analytical can’t help but wonder what the fuck is this guy doing here, dying on a fucking frozen forest of all places. A few more paces, and finally, finally he sees Tenzo. Crawling backwards on his elbows, whole uniform drenched in blood, and from the sickly color of his skin, probably half of it is his, but he’s still fighting off blows from an equally exhausted enemy, his face carved out of stone, nothing in his expression indicating fear or hesitation, even though he’s clearly out of tricks, the only thing keeping him going is the small sliver of adrenaline and stamina training. Because for all their chakra control and neat ninjutsu and flashy tricks, it almost always comes down to this. Muscle strength and basic defence tactics. Genma in the split of a second recognizes the intention on Tenzo’s face. He won’t let his enemy survive this fight. But before he can do whatever suicidal nonsense he’s thinking of, Genma throws his faithful and reliable senbons on the guys back, and all he needs is for one of them to hit a single vein, and then the poison will make his way to the fucker’s heart.  
One heartbeat later. Two. Three and the enemy falters and that’s all Tenzo needs to finish the bastard off. But because this entire mission is a mess, he immediately collapses back on the ground. Eyes rolling off his skull, head lolling to the side, and yes. A lot of the blood in his uniform is indeed his, because there’s a deep cut on his stomach and from what Genma remembers from his classes, those are fucking brutal and they hurt and bleed slow and steady but it’s certain painful death if he doesn’t get healed right now, he’s not gonna make it. With a pang of panic, Genma remembers a body on the beach, their team medic dead. And Genma only knows first aid and he has a decent amount of medical supplies on his pouch but he doesn’t think it will be enough, because if Tenzo got that cut too long ago then he already lost way too much blood and it’s too late. But there’s no point in speculating and hopeful wishing, so he does what he was taught, and with the utmost care, he tries to steady his hands that are still shaking, so he can properly apply healing chakra to the wound, to at least stop the bleeding. It takes him a while but he manages it, and soon he’s cleaning and bandaging the wound, and he can’t do anything about the blood loss right now, but he prays that this will be enough, that Tenzo will hold on long enough for them to return to Taki and find a fucking medic.

Next thing he knows, he’s carrying his friend on his back and making his way back to the cave where they left their bags. He can’t go back to help Kakashi and Yugao now because he can’t just leave Tenzo alone, and he won’t be able to fight anymore because he tried to ignore it but the signs are also too clear. His confusion and shiverings, and he knows he needs to elevate his body temperature because he can tell that hypothermia is beginning to take a hold of his body. If he loses consciousness he won’t be able to protect Tenzo or do much of anything really. And he thinks of sunshine and gentle smiles and he needs to go back home. He has a present to give and a confession to make.

\------

The small vessel they came with it's nowhere to be seen. He fears there's enemies around, but he needs to get to their hideout, he can fight off a couple of civilians if it comes to it. The risk is worth it, to not lose their stuff, especially now that they will be stranded here a little longer. He arrives at the cave with great difficulty but he lets out a quiet laugh when he sees their stuff still dry and safe and well hidden on the back of the small cave. Whoever stole their ship wasn't interested in sticking around for too long.  
So he settles down, and lays Tenzo gently on one of the futons, and he knows he shouldn't make a fire, that if there's one unfortunate bastard still alive that he might as well be signaling "come and kill us", from a distance, but he needs to stay warm and awake. His cloak was absolutely drenched and he had no other choice. Tenzo needed to stay warm too, and the man is still ghostly pale and out like a light, but his breathing is still steady.

Kakashi and Yugao find them later like this. Gemma is still suffering from sporadic shivering and Tenzo is almost dead. By then the sun is already up and the sky a blinding clear light blue. It isn't snowing anymore but that does nothing to appease the chilling air.  
"Genma, report."  
"Tenzo needs to go back to Taki and get medical assistance. I was able to stabilize him, but with how much blood he lost I don't know if he can hold on much longer. I wasn't able to locate our ship."  
"And you, any injuries?"  
"No, sir." He knows he hesitated and that Kakashi picked up on it, but he can handle himself and the fire is helping him, so he points out the most obvious issue once again, letting the desperation he's still feeling seep into his voice.  
"Tenzo needs medical assistance that none of us can give him. As fast as possible."  
They exchange looks and before Kakashi can open his mouth, Yugao is already speaking.  
"We managed to damage the last ship but its lifeboat might be intact enough to take Tenzo and I back. If I leave now I can get to it before anyone else approaches the area. When Taichou and I left a lot of the civilians were already running for their lives when they figured out that they were way in over their heads. So it should be safe for now, if I move fast. I'll take him with me, Hioshi taught me a few things about navigation, so I can… I can get us there."  
Meaning they’ll be separated once again, and two will be left behind in unknown enemy territory, but with how messed up Tenzo is, there’s not much of a choice.  
“If you’re gonna be looking out for him, don’t give him any water or food. I’m not sure how badly messed up his stomach is.”  
And so Kakashi helps Yugao take Tenzo back to the pirate’s ship to try and find a lifeboat to go get help in Taki. Not too long later, Genma can’t tell how much, since he’s been dozing off despite his best efforts, Kakashi comes back alone to the cave. 

“Now will you tell me what’s wrong with you? And, don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful, but why is it that you were so capable of treating a life threatening injury?”  
He’s barely holding on to consciousness, especially now that Kakashi is here and will protect him and keep him safe, and he doesn’t have to be so strong anymore. He passed that burden on to Yugao now. But he forces himself to answer anyway. No point in hiding anymore.  
“Hypothermia. ‘ve been tryin to learn medical ninjutsu… Captain? ‘M sleepy…”  
And his mind only is capable of registering the fading heat of the dying fire and how there’s a body lying next to him on the futon. He’s pretty sure his cloak is still wet, so the additional heat is much much welcome, and the shivering very slowly subsides, and his bones and muscles are exhausted from the strain of the fight and fighting off the cold, and he can’t help but feel grateful that he made it through, and he doesn’t have the strength to keep the tears from falling, and the sobs of relief from overwhelming him. And it’s ridiculous that he’s crying because he survived, but all he can do is hold on to the person next to him and let go. And between crying and laughing he whispers “fuck, I haven’t cried like this since I was a dumb little genin”, and not long after that the exhaustion finally overcomes him and he happily welcomes unconsciousness.

\------

When he wakes up again the sun is setting and he’s blissfully warm. Being surrounded by 4 furry dogs will do that to you. He also notices his coat is above him as a blanket and is completely dry and warm once again. So, it’s official, he successfully escaped freezing to death. Yay.

“Boss, he’s awake.”  
“Thanks, Bull. You guys can go now.”  
And on a poof of smoke Genma regretfully loses his adorable cuddly companions.  
“You might not want to call them that to their faces. They’re actual ferocious warriors, you know.” And the amused, low voice is like music to his ears.  
“Ugh, did I say that out loud? I must still be out of it, a bit.”  
“You’re looking a lot better. At least you’re not shaking anymore.”  
And Genma slowly opens his eyes to take in his surroundings. The small fire pit it’s completely gone and Kakashi is sitting by the opposite wall, hugging his own body to try and dissipate the cold. Looking outside, Genma can tell it’s snowing again.   
“I have tea in my bag. We can heat some water up. Keep ourselves warm.”   
“Why did you kiss me?”  
His body reacts to the question immediately. Heart beating fast, a knot forming in his stomach, and really, again with the trembling, albeit for a completely different reason now.  
“Wow, really? You wanna talk about that now?”  
“I’m bored… and intrigued.”  
Well, he did promise himself he would confess. He takes a deep breath that he doesn’t bother hiding and really, he should say more, phrase it better but in the end it all comes down to one thing.  
“I kissed you because I think you’re beautiful.”

He really hopes that Kakashi is smart enough to know that it’s not just about physical attraction or fool adoration. Genma thinks Kakashi is beautiful because he watched him grow up, and go through all sorts of unimaginable pain, and yet he still stands, carrying so much grief, but so gentle and determined in taking care of those under his command. Genma thinks Kakashi is beautiful because he sees the man he is underneath the mask and lazy demeanor.  
Kakashi doesn’t say anything. There aren't whispers of love and adoration exchanged, but that’s okay. He was acknowledged, and the feelings he has been harboring for years are finally out in the open, and even if nothing comes of it, a weight has been lifted from his shoulder.  
However, Kakashi does make the tea after all. And they share a cup, along with the chocolates he brought and they wait together for the night to pass, and for rescue to come. 

They talk a little about what happened in the fight, and how Hioshi didn’t even make it to the ship before being targeted by one of the Kiri nukenins, almost like they knew who he was, and how being without a medic would certainly kill at least one of them. They talk about how strange it is that the other three captains were nowhere to be found, and how they still don’t know what happened to their supposed guide. Not to count the disappearance of their ship. And the dreadful conclusion that everything screams sabotation hovers darkly above them, but none of them dare to voice that out loud.

The next day they finally see a ship approaching, and it’s Yugao and she’s bringing help. They will make it back home.

\------


	8. A Cup of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor

It was supposed to be a normal morning, common, dull, uneventful. Wake up, stretch like a cat, curse the fact that you have to wake up early for a few minutes before finally giving up and getting up. Go to the bathroom, pee, shower, brush your teeth, go to the kitchen to heat water for some coffee…

But alas, it was not a normal morning, because when Genma finally got to the kitchen, still half asleep, grumpy, naked and completely wet (since he just doesn’t have the patience to dry himself so thoroughly with the towel) he finds himself face to face with his childhood crush. Toothbrush still hanging from his lips, drool mixed with toothpaste, all he can do is stumble and stare. Because of course he didn’t sense his damn captain in his apartment. If only the man would say something, besides watching with mischief and amusement clear in his lone eye.  
“Hi?”  
“Yo, Genma.” Is the most annoying casual salute he ever heard, despite the absurdity of the situation. People don’t just barge in his home. Even though it is a common meeting place and his friends love to bother him, they always have the courtesy of knocking first. The only person who has access to his apartment is Raidou, and that still doesn’t mean the man doesn’t get stabbed when he walks in uninvited at ocasion. Genma’s still viciously deciding on just what the fuck to do when the handsome intruder speaks again.  
“Your traps are pitiful. I know a five year old who can and has done better.”

And that settles it. Even though he lost count of how many times he dreamed of having Kakashi in his apartment, none of those situations involved him drooling toothpaste and having his trapping skills shot down, so at the risk of being disrespectful or rude, he just turns around, heads straight for the bathroom to finish the menial task of brushing his teeth and finding some goddamn pants in order to go back to the kitchen. He also, conveniently, completely ignores his rapid beating heart and that pesky feeling in his stomach that only appears when he’s giddy anxious about something. Ugh. Being back in ANBU again was simultaneously the worst and best thing that’s happened to him in a long time.

When he goes back to the kitchen, mildly decent once again, he’s half afraid that he was only hallucinating, or worse, Kakashi took his turn around like a sign that he wasn’t welcome and left. He sighs in relief when neither of those things are true, and there, casually messing around with the scrolls and books in his living room shelf, stands his Captain, in all his silver haired glory. It really is unfair how ethereal he looks underneath the morning sunlight.  
“So Captain. To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
“Ah, Tenzo told me you make good tea.” And he says that like such a simple fact completely and obviously explains the need for home invasion.  
So Genma nods absently, still kinda dazed that this is actually happening and silently goes for the kettle, to warm water for his coffee and some for tea. For Kakashi. In his apartment.

But he catches up fast and soon (finally) gets his wits back and begins to behave like a human being again. “Do you have a preference? I have mint tea, black, jasmine and chamomile.”  
“Black, thanks.” And there it is. The eye-smile that makes the confusion and embarrassment worthwhile.  
“Have you been to the hospital to see Tenzo then? How is he? I haven’t had the chance to visit yet.”  
“He’s high on painkillers and mumbling about snow and boats, but he’s gonna make a full recovery. Gotta love those Hashirama genes. Though, of course, that’s half the reason he’s still alive. The other half being you and your surprising and secret proficiency at medical jutsu.” Kakashi pointedly looks at him, like a parent hearing their children lie through their teeth, when they already know the truth.

Genma doesn’t even have the energy to feel bashful that he hid his medical knowledge from his team and the Hokage. He already heard an earful from the Sandaime the days following their return from the Land of Snow and the fact that he was not so kindly ordered to advance his studies and become team’s Rho official medic was punishment enough. This is not what he had in mind when he innocently began to dabble in the medical studies. Of course, he won’t reveal the real reasons behind what motivated him in learning the damn thing in the first place. It’s a secret he’ll take it to the grave. There’s only so much embarrassment a person can withstand in a lifetime, after all.

“I think you heard that Lord Third wants to make me the official team medic then?”  
“He was strangely relieved that he wouldn’t have to find another medic to replace Hioshi.” And the name is murmured in shame and a quiet sort of grief, because although Genma shamelessly didn’t care about the man, Kakashi did. After all, he cares about all of those under his command and he just lost one team member in the most nonsensical way. The guy didn’t even have the chance to fight. Genma learned later on that their initial suspicions were correct and the medic was immediately targeted by the foreign missing nin. The why’s and who’s still remain an ominous shadow above the team and Genma very pointedly chooses to ignore the implications of such suspicions. He can’t afford to worry about conspiracies right now. So instead of offering condolences, he just takes the mug now filled with black tea to his captain and proceeds to focus on his coffee and the conversation.

“Relieved? How come?”

Kakashi is still lost in thoughts of guilt and dead team members, and it takes him a minute to pick up the tea that was standing in front of him on the living room table and carefully drink it. After making an appreciative humming noise he finally deems appropriate to answer Genma.  
“They already have someone in mind to join us and complete the numbers and Lord Third was very adamant in the importance of me becoming some sort of mentor and shadow to the kid. An upcoming talented jounin. Uchiha Shisui. Do you know him?”  
“Hm, I’ve heard of him. He was in the police ranks, but wasn’t very popular amongst his peers. Apparently smiling and fooling around is a reprehensible characteristic. And between us? The main exigence of being accepted in the Uchiha clan is having a stick up your ass and a face to match it.”  
“So not your typical Uchiha then?”  
“I guess not. Though I’ve heard he’s as talented as they come. Kurenai wouldn’t shut up about his promotion last time we played poker. A lot of people are infatuated with him, fighting to see who would join him in missions after his original team were killed.” Genma hates gossip, he does. But he can’t help but hearing it and, well, absorbing the information. It is, after all, information. And every shinobi in the village is equally curious and nosy. It’s the most aggravating thing once he’s the target of said gossip, however. As proven lately once word of his “drunk escorted episode” got around the entire village and he wouldn’t stop hearing about it for weeks. If there’s one good thing that came out of that fucking mission was the fact that once he came back, almost a month later, the gossip had finally died down and his fellow comrades had moved on to the next big news. It being, of course, _Shunshin no Shisui_.

When Genma noticed Kakashi wasn’t continuing the conversation he risked poking around.  
“How come you’re asking me? Don’t you know these things?”  
“The gossip I hear is of a different brand and it comes from different places. Someone really wants the Uchiha in our team and Hokage-sama is eager to please whoever that is.”  
“Do you think they’re planning something?” And “they” could be anyone, anywhere with whatever intention and Genma’s not even sure but Kakashi somehow understands and so he just scoffs and waves the question like some silly obvious thing.  
“They’re always planning something.”

And it’s clear from the serious contemplative tone that it is worthless to pry for more information, so Genma settles to bringing the conversation to a lighter tone after clearing his throat and taking a big gulp of his coffee, and bless the heavens it tastes bitterly amazing.  
“So, did my tea match your expectations?” The eye-smile is back and Genma mentally congratulates himself for his good decision.  
“It will suffice.”

They sit around amiably in silence for a while, each with their own troubling thoughts when suddenly Genma hears a whisper, barely audible and he’s not sure if it was real at all, but he takes a chance anyway.  
“Hmm?” Kakashi then clears his throat and suddenly he’s not aloof nor oozing confidence but the words are spoken once again with clarity and a hint of defiance.  
“I said, can you do it again?”  
“Do what?” A long pause follows and Genma’s afraid he screwed up but he just didn’t wanna assume and hope, so he chose the safest route and thankfully it paid off. Though the words that followed took his breath away, he was never more alert and excited in his life.  
“Kiss me…”

And it’s ok that he stumbled and stammered his affirmative because Kakashi suddenly came closer to where he was standing by the balcon in the kitchen and very resolutely stood in front of him and if Genma weren’t paying attention he would’ve missed the slight glint on that lonely eye.  
“Okay, but I need to do something first.” And without waiting for consent, Kakashi raised his hands and delicately placed Genma’s hitai-ate over caramel colored eyes and everything is silent and now in the complete dark all Genma can do is wait for any form of contact and he can feel Kakashi’s body heat next to him, but the man still isn’t touching him, and too many heartbeats pass by with nothing happening, until Genma remembers his captain’s request. So he raises his hand carefully in turn, copying the other’s latest movements, and orientates himself, finding soft cheeks. He takes his time, lightly moving his fingers through Kakashi’s face, until his thumb brushes soft lips and he slowly (not soon enough) leans in and substitutes his thumb with his lips. He can feel the reminiscent taste of tea on the other man’s breath and the faint mint toothpaste and stronger coffee taste on his own lips. But despite all of that he can sense something that’s all Kakashi and he’s hyper aware of every point of contact and the tingling sensation of the ecstatic gathering on his fingertips that are hovering above Kakashi’s chest;

The kisses are mere pecks, no sensuality or arousal involved, just the elation of finally achieving a dream and coming to the conclusion that was indeed everything you ever hoped for and being washed over by a silent wave of euphoria. And it’s perfect, so perfect that Genma can’t help but want more and in his greed he forgets himself and leans in more forcibly, desperately searching for an opening to be able to have a deeper taste, but once his tongue makes contact with shy closed lips, Kakashi takes a deep breath and pulls away smiling softly and with a deep crimson colored cheek, not that Genma can see it, but it’s what he likes to imagine that his kiss provoked in the other man, because Kami knows it’s how he feels. But he’s still in the dark and the heat is still there but there’s no more contact and so he worries that he took things too far, and he has a feeling and so can’t help but wonder and ask, “have you ever done this before?” to which comes the quiet but peaceful answer, “not really, no. You?”

Genma’s friends will tell you otherwise, but he’s not in fact a slut, though he does have experience, but fearing the other’s reaction he downplays it, just a bit, no harm done.  
“A few times, yeah. Couldn’t you tell? Was it bad?”  
And he immediately winces on the words that are stumbling out of his mouth and not passing at all through any sort of filter, because after all his brain is, indeed, fried. It’s unlike him, this insecurity but it’s… well, it’s Kakashi!

And the Sage is surely looking out for him, because Kakashi just chuckles lightly and is the most adorable sound, followed closely by his answer that “no, it wasn’t bad. Not at all. Just different, I suppose.” Suddenly his hitai-ate it’s placed back on the top of his head and he has to blink a few times until his pupil adjusts to the sharp intake of light and he should’ve known but he can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that Kakashi’s mask is firmly back in place. But one quick remembrance of the feeling of soft lips is enough to calm his heart down once again, because what he got was already so much more than he ever thought he would be able to get.

Kakashi is a few steps away now but even through the distance his eye is definitely shining with amusement now and way too soon, in Genma’s opinion, the man thanks him for the tea and waves him goodbye before jumping gracefully off the window towards the streets and leaving behind an empty mug and a lovestruck fool.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their first real kiss, omg, i loved writing this scene.  
> Kakashi's still not in the right mindspace to show his face, but he's definitely interested and curious enough to want to experiment and explore Genma's feelings for him.


End file.
